Manners Maketh Man

Manners are the most important soft skill a person must have & enhance. They make us a better human being & also save us from any unwanted embarassments in the society.

We all are familiar with good manners & also make our best efforts to put them in practice in daily life, but bearing in mind the lifestyle that we are all in currently, alot of times we go off the track & I include myself too in it. Thats why its necessary to give ourselves a little check & stick back to manners before anyone else tells us to do so.

This blog will talk about the importance of manners & their advantages to us. 

Importance of Manners

Manners are very important in every person's life, they are the very first lessons which we learn & are the very foundation of our personalities. Manners sculpt & shape our behaviour , they also decide how well we have grown in our lives towards betterment of ourselves as well as those who are around us.

We all understand the crucial role manners play in our daily lives , & we all see people who are well mannered being respectfully & differently treated by others as opposed to those who are ill mannered.

Manners make the society a good place to be in, it dissolves prejudice, propells humanity & prevents breeding bigotry around us.

Nowadays I have personally seen that alot of times people are awestruck when they see someone behave in a well mannered way, this is really sad to watch, as people find well mannered person something special whereas it should be a natural instinct to be well mannered.

Ethics

By definition ethics are strict code by which a person conducts himself/ herself & their behaviour. 

Ethics are even softer skill when it comes to skill set of a human being. When you are ethical you put a code, value & path for yourself to walk on & stay adhered to it no matter what happens. Ethics instill discipline in a person & teach them the crucial values of self esteem, self respect, honour, detrmination etc.

One must follow strict ethics in their life , self discipline is the key to achievement of targets & goals that you have set for yourself. Being ethical helps you carry yourself very well & sophisticatedly in society making you the best version of yourself.

Ethics help you to establish to your own identity & make you outstanding from others who lack ethics in daily life.

Very simple & common ethics one MUST have are

• Discipline

• Punctuality

• Effective communication

• Respect for others 

• Dignity for yourself & others

• Integrity 

• Ambition

• Confidence

• HardWork

• Accountability

These ethics are really simple & seem very minute initially but the impact they make on our & others' lives is huge. With daily practice they become instinct & no conscious effort needs to be put in for their implementation.

Etiquette

Etiquette is polished, sophisticated behaviour often I have seen people confusing it with style which is totally different concept. Etiquette allows you to be update & keeps you knowledgeble about current trends but at its core etiquette deals with how well you carry yourself in the society.

To understand etiquette better lets divide it in 2 broad classes

• Personal Etiquette

Personal etiquette is all about how well you present yourself in the society, the smallest of aspects about your personality do not go unnoticed when personal etiquette comes into play. 

The key features that come under personal etiquette are

• Dressing - the way we dress tells alot of about ourselves to the people, the etiquette of dressing lies in well pressed clothes, suitable colours , adhering to the dress code whenever specified, always showing up in appropriate attire at respective occasions be it formal or festive. Carrying your attire well, being comfortable in what you wear.

• Communication - communication is the centre point of etiquettes as a well spoken person never fails to leave his/her impression. While communicating , etiquette is noticed in greeting the people when you meet them, having a conversation, being polite throughout the dialogue, handling arguements efficiently , absence of over or under reaction, conversing according to situation, having a suitable & sound communication via body language. Also knowing when not to speak & doing so.

• Table Manners - the most essential skill we could have, for me table manners are the epitome of etiquettes. The correct use of cutlery, the proper way of eating respective cuisines, the proper way of pronouncing their names, sitting on the chair from right side & leaving same way, starting to eat with hosts or atleast when 2 people are served etc all these count in table manners. While they are not new to us but I have often seen people usually not following any of them at all.

• Social etiquette

When you master the personal etiquette social etiquette is just the execution part of it. It is much easier to practice social etiquette when you are good at the personal part of it.

Some key social etiquette points to be kept in mind are

1. Always greet the person you meet before they greet you. 

2. Don't shy away from the manner in which people greet each other in respective cultures when you visit there. Right from handshake to a kiss on cheek be sure you know it & put it into practice. Even learn the greeting in their language.

3. Always take a gift for the host in case you are invited somewhere

4. When dresscode is provided strictly follow it.

5. Dress appropriately for the occasion, in any case avoid over & under dressing.

6. Practice & update table manners according to respective cultures you visit to. 

7. Avoid any wardrobe malfunctions with your attire , if you still get unlucky make sure you always carry backup to fix the errors.

8. Handle the fumbles well, accept them ,& move on don't harp about it, nobody is perfect. Laugh it off if you can thats the best way!

9. Whenever you leave for home make sure to inform the host & thank them , in a restaurant thank the staff.

Chivalry

I cannot stress enough how important chivalry is, but with that I also believe that chivalry must be acknowledged at its fullest.

To start with chivalry is nothing but courteous behaviour of a man towards a woman. 

Many a times chivalry only gets highlighted among couples but thats not the case though a real gentleman won't shy away from extending chivalry to any woman around him & a lady must acknowledge that.

Few key features of chivalry are

• Opening the door of a car, house, restaurant etc for a woman.

• Holding a woman's hand while climbing up & down on the stairs & crossing the road.

• Walking with a woman side by side, not ahead nor lagging behind her.

• Holding a chair for her to sit at the table.

• Escorting a woman.

• If you are couple, bringing flowers, gift or chocolates for her on a visit.

• Greeting a woman before she greets you in a meeting.

• Paying a compliment to a woman

• Offering a seat in public transport

This might seem too much to read at once but these little things make such a huge difference that its impossible to put it in words. One can only feel & experience it to know it.

Men who put chivalry into practice really set an example for others to follow. Anyone can achieve mastery at this it just takes the courage to step up.

Grace, Poise & Elegance

If it is chivalry for men then its grace , poise & elegance for women. A woman should be elegant, graceful & have a poise when she carries herself.

When a man extends chivalry to you be graceful to acknowledge it by thanking him & giving a smile at minimum.

If you are a couple you can reciprocate in innumerable ways, a caress, a smile, a gift, flowers you name it ! Choose the gesture that best suits your love language.

As women expect men to be respectful towards them it equally applies to women to respect men. When a man greets you, offers you a seat in public transport don't take it for granted , extend a warm smile & a generous thank you. It makes a difference.

Not necessarily all the time men have to initiate in extending chivalry, women can do it too in their own way. For e.g. you can give a surprise gift or bring flowers for your man , he would love it as much as you do.

Being graceful is all about taking pride in being a woman, understanding the essence of being a woman , if you can show what loving, caring & sharing is about you are graceful & you are woman.

Final word

This blog may have been a bit harsh for some of you but trust me I have no intention to hurt anyone's feelings at all. 

Making mistakes doesn't make a difference the way we handle them makes one.

No one is & can be perfect but we should constantly strive to be the best we can. It is ok to not know somethings you can always learn but saying no to learn is wrong & shouldn't happen. I have improved myself alot in all these years & I will continue to be in that process now I want you to join me! 

Thank you so much for reading ! Drop a comment below & tell me your thoughts

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