Effective Conversation - Skill / Art

This blog is dedicated to my dear friend Rucha as she suggested this topic. Thank you so much for your support.

We all are familiar with normal Do's & Don'ts of conversation & yet sometimes we face difficulties in making our point , convincing others, & making people understand what exactly we are implying. This blog hopefully will help you to overcome with such difficulties.

Introduction
As we grow up we attain a stage where our opinions start forming, we attain a perspective towards everything, everyone & every situation in the life, we also eventually vocalise it to others, & from there starts the journey of countless debates, argreements , disagreements, fights etc.

Through all this the one common denominator that each of us have is everybody has a unique point to make on the same situation & that point applies in different ways. Its just like solving a math problem , one problem can be solved by many methods & you get the same solution. With life though everything is not calculated & we have a greater variety of solutions to choose from.

Making your point
Once you encounter with any situation/ person in your life you form an opinion about it. The next step is to put it out verbally , thats when whether you make a point or not matters the most. Making your point starts with yourself being absolutely clear & focused on what you feel about a particular situation / person. Clarity is everything. As long as you are clear in your head about your thoughts you will have no problem to voice it out to others.
Lets see a few pointers that will help to make your point

• Attain clarity on your thoughts.

• There should not be any ambiguity, self doubt in what you think about a situation / person.

• Cross check everything before voicing out your opinions. 

• Choose your words carefully

• Keep it concise yet convincing. The other person should recieve your idea the way "you" want them to recieve it without any confusion.

Listening - Speaking
To speak flawlessly one has to take a small but very crucial journey from listening to speaking with all seriousness. I cannot stress enough on how important it is to be a good listener to be a good speaker.
The very foundation of speaking comes from listening to others, paying a keen attention on what they say & analyse carefully what they exactly mean. Once you master this process nothing can stop you from becoming a good speaker.

I have always met people & still meet many who don't listen at all or just go on speaking without even trying to understand what I was saying. I cannot converse with such people infact nobody can , in order to understand you one has to listen to you there is no shortcut or alternative for that. Very few people accept this flaw & are ready to take efforts to improve it ,this the bitter truth of the story. But instead of blaming others we better focus on us & improve ourselves as much as we can.

The Art of Speaking
Once you master the listening skills , its time to learn & improve the art of speaking. Yes, speaking is an art as much as it is a primary means of communication. The way you speak makes an impact on people to an extent which cannot be put into words & is beyond our imagination. Now a skill this important must be paid attention on very closely.
Lets take a look at 3 main pillars of art of speaking 

• How to Speak ?
The answer to this question varies according to the situation you are in & the person you are with. Always keep in mind you must change the way you speak with everyone in every different situation. Every individual is unique & so everytime your approach in a conversation must be unique too.
Some general pointers to answer the above question are

• Be polite, calm & confident while you speak

• Have clarity in what you say.

• Don't hesitate to be straight forward & practical in your approach wherever & whenever its needed.

• Try to avoid any fight, if you disagree make sure you are polite in telling so to the other person.

• Be formal / informal as & when required.

• In case you have a fight, try not to take it to a point where you loose the senses & start arguing on nothing. Stop when things get out of control, take some time off, cool down & then talk again.

• When to Speak ?
Answer to this question partly comes to us through experience , honestly a bad experience because when you speak where you are NOT supposed to the consequences are inevitable & unpleasant. But its only this lesson that teaches us when to speak more importantly when NOT to speak.
Be a judge of your own & make a wise decision of whether it is suitable to stay silent or not in a given situation.

• What to Speak ?
I mentioned choosing words carefully earlier in the blog. That is the answer to this question, every word you say makes you accountable for saying it & words are building blocks which lay the foundation of what you are trying to say. The choice of wrong words will result in misunderstanding, wrong interpretation on listener's end, unwanted fights, confusion etc.
Always keep in mind the ocassion , situation & person you are speaking to ,this will automatically help you find right words & put forth your ideas more effectively.

I hope this blog turns out to be helpful to all those who read it.

I hope you enjoyed reading this blog . Thank you so much.

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